Call for Papers: Inaugural Issue
We are officially accepting submissions. Do not send us your genuine academic breakthroughs; we will simply steal them. Instead, we demand your most rigorously over-engineered trivialities.
我们已正式开放投稿。请不要发来你真正的学术突破，我们只会据为己有。本刊专门接收“严谨的无聊”、“杀鸡用的牛刀”以及“完美的废话”。
1. Over-Engineering the Mundane 【杀鸡用牛刀系列】
Applying deep learning, complex calculus, or advanced fluid dynamics to utterly meaningless daily phenomena.
用最前沿的模型（深度学习、流体力学、复杂微积分等），去强行计算最无聊的日常琐事。例如：基于热力学的白衬衫咖啡污渍溅射路径模拟。
2. Meta-Academic Despair 【学术圈发疯文学】
Rigorous structural and statistical analysis of the academic process itself.
用冰冷的学术语言，解构硕博日常的痛苦。例如：收到“小修”意见后，博士生求生欲的 Kaplan-Meier 生存分析；或导师回复微信的时间延迟多模态研究。
3. Flawless Failures 【完美的废话研究】
Research with impeccable methodology, perfectly formatted citations, logically sound arguments, and completely useless conclusions.
逻辑无懈可击，实验极其规范，数据分析完美，但最终证明的结论完全是一句废话的文章。
Your methodology is flawed, and you should feel bad. Submit anyway.
你的方法论漏洞百出，你应该感到羞愧。但还是投来试试吧。